I'm Sarah, Amanda's sister and I'm curious as to where Amanda went because she's been missing for two weeks. I got the ending of finding Amanda and Jenny kissing in the eyeshadow and then finding the conversion therapy pamphlet. Everything felt pretty clear but I wish there was more for me to look at and more for Sarah to do. My favorite part was finding the picture and the pamphlet at the end because it was such a twist that I wasn't expecting and I let out a gasp.
Really interesting implied plot, would love to see it more finished! There's a couple spelling issues that can easily be fixed. I like all the objects in the room that give Amanda more personality, it might be cool if we could also know some more about Sarah too, maybe through her room?
It's a really nice narrative. I feel the story is too short, add maybe more background on Sarah and maybe her going to find Amanda. But overall the discovers made to find clues on what happen to Amanda is great.
I really enjoy your writing style and how subtle information are revealed within the plot. I do wish to see more of Sarah's personality revealed through the narrative as I couldn't really tell if I was supposed to find the findings/items either good or bad. But I enjoy the plot in general and the direction the game is heading!
I enjoy how descriptive the game is, and your position as a curious young child investigating their sister's "disappearance" struck an emotional chord with me. i experienced a few grammatical errors which took me out of my engagement somewhat, but I still found the story compelling. i do wish we could experience a bit more elaboration on the main character's thoughts and feelings as an emotional young child, but the game is still very interesting and successful!
Really interesting! I think the reveal is effective, and makes you feel bad for Amanda, as you realize that she was sent to a conversion camp by her own parents. I'd be interested in seeing the main character, Sarah's, thoughts on the matter, maybe exploring how it impacts her relationship with her parents? Does she support it? Is she against it? However, it's also effective to leave the player with just that reveal, leaving up to the imagination how Sarah felt exactly. Along with this, there are a few typos, but they can easily be fixed/changed. The descriptions are also really strong & realistic! I enjoy being able to explore and figure out more and more as you progress. I'm excited to see where this goes if you do more with it :D!
I really like your description of the surroundings, it allows me to almost picture it in my mind's eye as to what it would look like. Very much look forward to further development
The touch of the photo of jenny and amanda kissing with the conversion camp pamplet and other religious objects found in the room is so intriguing, it feels like its building up to a reveal, and I cant wait to know what it is.
I got to the end where you find the photos, and I want to learn more. This seems like such a cool mystery. If you polish this a bit you'd have a really fun text game.
I think it's awesome that she has a bible and listens to christian rock. It really gives and underlying tone of how religion plays an important role in your story! also they way you describe the rooms is very descriptive and gives me a good idea of what it looks like in my little itty bitty brain
I like the direction the story is going in, and your descriptions work really well for setting the stage. I think it would be interesting to see the room more through Sarah's eyes, as an 11 year old girl would think differently about her older sister than , say, a 15 year old or 9 year old. also, there are hints at what our relationship is like with Amanda, and i think i'd like to see more of that developed
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I'm Sarah, Amanda's sister and I'm curious as to where Amanda went because she's been missing for two weeks. I got the ending of finding Amanda and Jenny kissing in the eyeshadow and then finding the conversion therapy pamphlet. Everything felt pretty clear but I wish there was more for me to look at and more for Sarah to do. My favorite part was finding the picture and the pamphlet at the end because it was such a twist that I wasn't expecting and I let out a gasp.
Really interesting implied plot, would love to see it more finished! There's a couple spelling issues that can easily be fixed. I like all the objects in the room that give Amanda more personality, it might be cool if we could also know some more about Sarah too, maybe through her room?
It's a really nice narrative. I feel the story is too short, add maybe more background on Sarah and maybe her going to find Amanda. But overall the discovers made to find clues on what happen to Amanda is great.
I really enjoy your writing style and how subtle information are revealed within the plot. I do wish to see more of Sarah's personality revealed through the narrative as I couldn't really tell if I was supposed to find the findings/items either good or bad. But I enjoy the plot in general and the direction the game is heading!
I enjoy how descriptive the game is, and your position as a curious young child investigating their sister's "disappearance" struck an emotional chord with me. i experienced a few grammatical errors which took me out of my engagement somewhat, but I still found the story compelling. i do wish we could experience a bit more elaboration on the main character's thoughts and feelings as an emotional young child, but the game is still very interesting and successful!
Really interesting! I think the reveal is effective, and makes you feel bad for Amanda, as you realize that she was sent to a conversion camp by her own parents. I'd be interested in seeing the main character, Sarah's, thoughts on the matter, maybe exploring how it impacts her relationship with her parents? Does she support it? Is she against it? However, it's also effective to leave the player with just that reveal, leaving up to the imagination how Sarah felt exactly. Along with this, there are a few typos, but they can easily be fixed/changed. The descriptions are also really strong & realistic! I enjoy being able to explore and figure out more and more as you progress. I'm excited to see where this goes if you do more with it :D!
I really like your description of the surroundings, it allows me to almost picture it in my mind's eye as to what it would look like. Very much look forward to further development
The touch of the photo of jenny and amanda kissing with the conversion camp pamplet and other religious objects found in the room is so intriguing, it feels like its building up to a reveal, and I cant wait to know what it is.
I got to the end where you find the photos, and I want to learn more. This seems like such a cool mystery. If you polish this a bit you'd have a really fun text game.
I think it's awesome that she has a bible and listens to christian rock. It really gives and underlying tone of how religion plays an important role in your story! also they way you describe the rooms is very descriptive and gives me a good idea of what it looks like in my little itty bitty brain
I like the direction the story is going in, and your descriptions work really well for setting the stage. I think it would be interesting to see the room more through Sarah's eyes, as an 11 year old girl would think differently about her older sister than , say, a 15 year old or 9 year old. also, there are hints at what our relationship is like with Amanda, and i think i'd like to see more of that developed